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Welcome to my blog! Check out this site for recommended books, stories about my cats, and stories from my life (real and sometimes imaginary.) Have fun! Unless noted, all photos have not been edited in any way. All content on this site is copyright INAMINI. All rights reserved.

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Location: Washington State, United States

04 October 2006

Laugh, Laugh


I needed a good laugh today, and this did it-

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had a fatal jet accident (corrected as per Kara's comment).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Makes you look at solving problems a different way, doesn't it?

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4 Comments:

Blogger Kara said...

Oh ho ho, Ms. Inamini...check THIS out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qantas_fatal_accidents

05 October, 2006 09:06  
Anonymous INAMINI said...

kara- duly noted, and I stand corrected. I will change the post accordingly. Thank goodness I have you following me and letting me know when I lie! BTW- thanks.

05 October, 2006 09:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A very interesting post!

I saw a comment the other day at DrA's site, where you said you hadn't been tagged for a meme yet!

Well, guess what?!? TAG -- you're it for my new Halloween Meme at It's A Blog Eat Blog World!

Boo!

05 October, 2006 11:17  
Blogger INAMINI said...

Morgen- Thanks for the tag! I will go there right away!

05 October, 2006 11:47  

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